Bad Apples
by xoxoLee
Summary: People can think what they will, but only they know the truth. None of it matters when you fall in love.
1. Something

_He's not exactly the hero that everyone's looking for, or expects to see. _

_I mean, he's got character and charisma. He's not another pretty boy that makes fans wait so he can decide which side looks better. By the way, if I'm describing anyone I may be unfortunate to know, it's merely coincidental. He's the type of guy that would probably push someone aside if he was busy. Not like he does that often, but I'm just saying. He probably has once or twice…or more. He's had more than a few chances to do the right thing. Sometimes he makes a joke at the expense of others, and sometimes he makes sure to put himself before anyone else. For the most part, you can expect him to be good to the people that deserve it. I honestly believe he'll save more than one damsel in distress. _

_He's no angel, which is good, because I'm not either._

_The past is the past. He's done some things that are borderline shady, definitely against the rules, and more or less offensive to numerous people. But I swear he means well. Even if he didn't at the time, redemption is his now. I know I went through I phase just like he did. Once upon a time, he was everyone's fool. Maybe it was his fault most of the time, but things are different. I'm different too. A long time ago I would've barked like a dog if I wanted something bad enough. Now I'll only bark like a dog if I like you enough. No, but seriously, back to the point. We're helping each other grow. We're very decent human beings, honestly, despite the views of some people. _

_"Bonita."_

_He taught me this word. Beautiful. He told me that was what I was on the inside and outside. I asked him to teach me how to say 'ugly' but he refused. My shoulder was far too light for me to be beautiful, but I know he had the same longing that I did. If I was beautiful, I don't know what he would be. They don't make words for guys like him. _

_Cool._

_It's pretty much the most annoying word I've ever heard. It belongs in the vocabulary of prepubescent boys, which he definitely is not. But that's him, whether I like it or not. It has its advantages though. Even he knows how idiotic it may sound but he knows when to make me laugh, and that's good._

_According to him, when we're together it's very 'cool'. I have another word for it, but little kids look up to me. I'm not the ideal hero either, but I'm someone's hero. _

_Remember that._

_We're all bad apples in one way or another, and maybe Carlito is worse than some. He's been good to me. I think that's all that matters. And who knows, I might be able to fall in love with him. Oh, and yes, I'm knocking on wood right now._

* * *

Just as the leather-bound journal was snapped shut, the hotel door creaked open. As annoying as it was, Trish was glad for the alarm, she hadn't heard the key. She grinned from ear to ear, dropping the book on the ground to be forgotten as the door creaked once again in closing. Her golden locks swayed as she turned her head toward the clock. 

"If we're smart we've got nine hours of sleep ahead of us, and a seven hour drive too."

"Nine hours together, seven hours apart, fifteen minutes backstage, and who knows what happens after that."

"Here's to being stupid then."


	2. I'm Looking Through You

_My eyes were glued to the monitor backstage as I idly chatted with Maria. Poor girl, dumb as a clump of dirt. It's awful to say but she makes up for it by being so sweet and naïve. I could see him walking up the ramp, and I soon lost track of what Maria and I had been discussing. Oh well, it couldn't have had much depth anyway. It was probably just last week's episode of some materialistic MTV reality show. "You wouldn't believe it. She said one thing and she said another thing, and…"_

_He said, she said. That was all I caught before I spotted the rapid movement of the curtains as he whipped them back. That couldn't be good. "Hey, you. You didn't see me coming?" I said in that flirty tone that girls use. I had my best sweet, completely uneager smile on my face. If he couldn't tell I was happy to see him he had to be blind. Maybe he would have had better luck if he was actually looking at me. _

_He just walked right past me like I wasn't even there._

_"I was talking to you, you know. You're the only one I've been waiting for." Absolutely no response, but I still pursued him. I could almost imagine how Umaga felt in the ring, minus the weird native part. "Anyway, I was thinking, you and I should grab a bite to eat. Maybe get better acquainted with the city. Then if we have time to kill we can head over to my room and talk, or something." Or something. I made sure our options were always there. Again I was not given a response; he just kept walking._

_"Carlito, you're acting like I'm not here talking to you. Stop for five seconds, will you?" Before he had the time to escape into another hallway or leave for the locker room without speaking to me, I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and tugged lightly. If he couldn't hear me, or see me, I surely would have felt that, and he did._

_I didn't expect him to have the response that he did. _

_It only took him a split second to voice his dislike for what I was doing. He spun around faster than a cheetah with a can tied to its tail. The words that flew out of his mouth were too quick for me to react to and definitely not in English, but I could tell that they were not meant to be taken nicely. My mouth was opened to say something to my defense, but as soon as I parted my lips, he had shoved me down by the shoulders. _

_Although it was entirely possible that he hadn't intended for things to get to that point, walking away from a girl crying on the floor is completely intentional. There's no arguing that. I wasn't complaining though. I just gathered all of my calmness, wiped away my tears, and went on with things. No one was going to see Trish Stratus vulnerable again. _

_----_

_"I'm fine, guys," I groaned as I rose from the bed. "Really, I'm feeling better, and I can sleep off whatever is left." Being the rambler that I was, I made assumptions before I made wise decisions. My head was in twenty different places. I wasn't even thinking when I opened the door to greet Lillian and Torrie. "See, I'm fine." My eyes met with my guest's and I shouldn't have been surprised when I saw that it was him. _

_"Carlito, you should-" _

_You should go. You shouldn't be here. You should give me space. You should let me keep my dignity. You should stop making me care about you. "You should kiss me" was never on the list of things to say, but he made up his own rules._

_"No. We're. Not. Doing. This." My words were punctuated by kisses until I put my arms up as a barrier between us and pried my lips from his. "Whenever you're bitter, or angry, you're not going to take it out on me and then expect to get in my bed. You shouldn't be expecting anything from me anyway. You hurt me." His lips had just been taking a break, because they were back on my lips. My lips, my neck, but he seemed to use the most care when he kissed my shoulder. I didn't protest. _

_While I sit here writing this, he's still in my bed._

Her pen was still in her hand. She had stopped writing once she felt his cheek rubbing against stomach. "Hey, are you awake?" Trish whispered as she stroked his cheek with all the loving she could muster. Her hand went still as he buried his face into her stomach, which she took as a sign that he wasn't quite ready to wake up. She couldn't blame him. She wasn't sure what time it was but it was late. To her surprise, when she looked down to admire him he was staring up at her.

In his drowsy state his coordination wasn't the best but with a few yawns he was faking with the best of them. Pretending to be wide awake, he laid his head down on her shoulder and poked the cover of her journal. "What's that?" He asked, his closeness causing her to grasp the book tighter. "This," she said as she looked down, "is just a silly journal."

Carlito had noticed it before. She had hid it beneath her jacket before. It had managed to slide under the bed on accident. It was never supposed to be seen by him. He knew that much. "Silly? Not if you keep it so close to you." The routine was the same as always. Trish opened her hand and let the book drop to the floor. "I only keep the memories close. I want to keep you even closer. You know, before something else tries to tell us that this can't last forever." Trish's arm dropped down to the side of the bed.

Out of his sight, she knocked lightly on the nightstand.

* * *

**Notes: I just want to say that I'm so pleased by the feedback I've gotten. I didn't think that the story would get that much attention. It was originally written as a one-shot just in case the story didn't feel right or anything. I hadn't thought of what would come next in the story, so I decided to pick it up as a story about a relationship, with a good part of it being told from her journal. I really didn't want to drop that idea. Expect the next chapter to be a lot more lighthearted. I hope you enjoyed reading this. I'll try my very hardest to meet all of your expectations.**


	3. Love Is Only Sleeping

_His back has become my canvas. _

_You can tell when he's very tired, because he sleeps on his stomach. I only learned this when he started spending time at my house when we had days off. I'll admit, I can't help but watch him when he sleeps. That's not very surprising considering how much time we spend in bed, whether it's watching Desperate Housewives or getting to know each other a little better. Anyway, I had been sitting wide awake with my journal open. Somehow while I was scribbling little pictures in the margins, my marker went from the paper to his skin._

_He didn't move an inch._

_The way the ink glides across his skin is the most fascinating part, but I can fully appreciate sitting back and seeing what I created. Most of the time it's abstract. I like drawing lines that take twists and turns. It's like a metaphor for our lives. I have gotten creative though. Once I drew a man in a boat fishing for a mermaid. Another time I drew a unicorn. I just want him to wake up one day and see ballerina dancing across his back. I'm lying. I just want his reaction._

_Sometimes it's therapeutic. _

_When Carlito gets angry he gets stupid. It's ridiculous, but you can't unteach a man. He yells at anything he sees whether it's walls, referees or small children crossing the street. It's hard to remember but I just have to remind myself that I love his faults more than any other quality. Besides, how many times do I have to say that he means well? He really does. _

_He can't hear me when he's sleeping. Maybe somewhere in his dreams there's a woman, hopefully me, drawing on his back. If that is the case he doesn't express it. Lying on his stomach, he doesn't react. I can shout anything with the marker in my hand. I can tell him that I'm not leaving him, with a kiss that leaves pink lipstick. I can sum up our relationship in words. **Wrath. Envy. Pride. Gluttony. Lust. Sloth. Greed.** I can recite poetry without fearing that he'll think I'm stupid for believing in a handful of words. And when I write, "Trish loves Carlito", hearts and all, I can remind him that we're allowed to have fun. We can leave our stress and anger in the squared circle._

_Tonight, my message is simple: love is only sleeping._

Morning already? Sleeping was probably a better idea than staying up all night drawing and writing. Oh well, at least her boyfriend, for lack of a better word, was excruciatingly nice to her. When Trish woke up she was in the middle of her bed, no sign of Carlito anywhere. By the time she had showered, dried her hair, and walked out of the bathroom, the scent of coffee was inescapable.

Coffee was a good enough reason for Trish to walk down the stairs with a smile. Actually, there really wasn't a reason for her to feel bad at all. It was almost scary how well things were going. "For me? Why thank you." She said as she pulled a coffee mug down from the cupboard.

This was all she needed.

Normal.


	4. I'm A Loser

_"Do you see ink on my sleeve?"_

_My head snapped up as I quickly folded the paper that had been sitting out in front of me and shoved it in my pocket. He repeated the question, and this time I grinned and shook my head. "Nope. Why would you ask that?" He gave me a once over, trying to see if I would retract what I had just said. I watched as he turned and walked away to retrieve our coffee. Travelling is always tiring, hence the black coffee for me, but little things make it worth the trouble. Forget the wrestling aspect of the job and the entertaining. If I didn't have those I think I'd just do it for the coffee shops you see along the way. Connecticut was fabulous for coffee. _

_"You look tired," Carlito remarked as he sat down, setting my coffee in front of me and his own drink in front of him. Forgive me for wasting time, but I just had to say how cute I think it is that I managed to turn him onto low-fat lattes. I shrugged in response. Tired? I always look tired. I know. "No, really, are you feeling okay?" In truth, no, I was not. There are too many things to write about in my life to mention every little thing, but then there are the things I would rather not talk about. I don't think I trust paper enough to tell all of my secrets._

_"Yeah," I lied, covering up the butterflies in my stomach with a smile. "It's early, and I didn't get much sleep. Three maybe four hours. Then we went to the gym and had a meeting. I'm just tired. Don't worry about me." My rambling seemed like forever as I spoke, and the longer forever took the harder my pulse was. I looked down toward the table and yawned. As I brought the mug to my lips I could feel his eyes trying to rip a hole through me. I wanted to tell him, "Sorry honey, that's not going to work. You shouldn't waste your time." But I sipped my coffee instead. _

_Ten awkward minutes later, pleasantly filled with chatter about stories on CNN that week, we headed out the door. I put my hands in my pockets, like I usually did when I was casually strolling. I'm saddened to say that while I'm quick enough to make a smart comeback and quick enough to surprise my opponents, this former champion is not smart enough to remember something like putting a paper in her pocket. My eyes widened as my hands shot out of my pockets to pat myself down from hip to thigh. Unbelievably, my eyes got even bigger when I came up with nothing. I grabbed hold of Carlito's arm and began to shake it. _

_"I knew you weren't feeling well."_

_"No, I think I left my...my phone in the café. Just wait right here. I'll be right back."_

_Panic could barely cover what was running through my veins. Disgust, stupidity, etc. Those were a bit closer to the target. Awkwardly I ran down the sidewalk and back to the café. It was actually more of a waddle in heels but I was rushing nonetheless. Being a woman with dignity I was hesitant to drop to my knees in front of tens of strangers, but that does not mean I didn't. No one can understand how much I needed to find that paper. I mean need. I was on my knees and crawling under tables but I came up with nothing. _

_In front of countless strangers and a love interest, I hung my head and did the walk of shame. So stupid, so ridiculous. I went on with my day though._

Trish sighed as the hand on her forehead slid down to cover her lips. Some people just had a knack for natural disasters, and she was one of them. Oh yes, old habits die hard. She never wanted to believe that saying but it definitely applied to the situation she was in. No matter how many times she tried and no matter what method she tried, she couldn't go to sleep. She was sure that her days would be sleepless unless something positive regarding the letter happened.

Of course that was highly doubtful. It vanished in thin air. It could be in the hands of a waitress or some stranger that just saw it on the floor. Some kids could be dissecting it word for word and mocking it in their own journals. The worst part about it was that she herself hadn't read further than three sentences. They were normal questions and statements. "How are you? I'm doing fine." That kind of deal. But by the length of the letter and the name on the envelope it was impossible for it to be good news. Impossible.


	5. Dear Prudence

_Hey, you! _

_We really haven't talked in a long time. I heard you were doing great, and that's awesome._

"No, that's awful," Trish said under her breath as she tore out the sheet of paper. "Awesome? I'm surprised people don't question my education. I sound like a twelve year old.

_I have to say, I was surprised to hear from you, especially since it's been a while and we haven't exactly talked. We had some crazy times together. Remember when we wanted to kill each other? Yeah, that time when I kind of got you and your best friend to hate each other? I'm glad we're all mature enough to look back and laugh._

Trish bit her lip and looked down at the paper with a sneer. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to joke about. In fact, by just writing it she was kind of hating herself. Who knew what the letter was about anyway? He could have been in an accident or getting in contact with her so he knew where to send the hit man. Trish tore that sheet of paper as well and started back from the beginning.

_I have to say, I was surprised to hear from you, especially since it's been a while and we haven't exactly talked. I'm not sure what to think about you sending me a letter after all this time, but I have to think the best if you think that writing to me would do any good. Actually, I'm glad you didn't take time to e-mail me. I'm pretty illiterate in that department, but I guess you already know that._

_Anyway, I think I should tell you that I never actually got to read your letter. The craziest thing happened. I was sitting in this really nice café with a friend, I think we've been there, and your letter just disappeared. I had it in my pocket one minute and when I left the café it was gone. I went back to try and find it but it really did vanish. Fate's a funny thing isn't it? Or maybe that's just me being clumsy._

_If it's not a hassle, write back to me. Obviously if it's something important I want you to talk to me. Like I said before, it's been a while, but you know that I still care._

_Trish_

"Are we going to the car or working overtime?" There's nothing like a bored and slightly frustrated man to pull you back into the real world. They were sidetracked for a while, and while Trish obviously kept herself busy, she could understand why he wasn't too pleased with sticking around the arena longer than he had to. "I'm coming," she said as she hopped down from equipment case she had been sitting on. "I wouldn't want to keep you here for too long. Someone might actually talk to you. Even worse, you might run into a fan."

Trish looked at him, clapping one hand to her cheek and pretending to gasp in surprise. Not keeping the charade up for long she broke out into a fit of giggles until he couldn't help but smile. They were infectious that way. "You're the last one that should be talking about fans." The subtle remark was the kind that she was used to from him. Her only retort was her tongue poking out at him like an angry little kid.

They were kind of like kids anyway. Or at least that was the impression everyone was under as they chased each other out of the building and to their waiting rental car.


	6. I Should've Known Better

_We were in the park, somewhere a little different for us, but it would have been less neglected if we had time to roam around in our travels. Anyway, we were sitting on a park bench with my Dorothy Parker book open. I was reading a poem and he was looking at my legs. He missed the purpose of having the book open but I have to admit it wasn't bad just sitting together without anything to bother us. The sun was shining, the park was quiet, and we were together. _

_How can that be ruined?_

_"You're still talking to one of your ex-boyfriends?" It caught me off guard but it definitely caught my attention. Pretty much out of nowhere, but if he really wanted my attention he got it. I was trying to shake off the sleep that I thought I was under. That was my first reaction mostly because it sounded ridiculous. Honestly, who says that? _

_"I don't even know what you're talking about, and if you're listening to crazy gossip then I don't have to tell you how ridiculous that is." Although I laughed and I had a smile on my face, Carlito didn't look very amused. In fact, it was a safe bet to guess that he was angry about something. "What?" I said with another laugh, tilting my head up to look at him. Again there was that sour expression._

_Enough reading. I closed the book and placed it beside me on the edge of the bench. If he was going to give me the look I was going to give it back to him. I invented that look, if he forgot. Once upon a time my face just looked like that automatically. "You wouldn't lie to me?" Now I was getting annoyed. I stood up from where I sat, crossing my arms in front of my chest, and looked down at him. He wasn't going to be outdone though. Not at all. He did the exact same and stood up as well._

_My common sense tells me that raising my voice is the worst way to calm everything down, but it sure as hell felt right. "What's the matter with you? Did you just come here to pick a fight?" Even though I knew the answer and I didn't really care, I was doing that 'smart' thing that girls do when they want to pick a fight. Some call it guilty conscience and some call it stupidity. I call it a normal move for one Trish Stratus. "I just want to know why you're not telling me things."_

_My fingers ran through my hair as that little thing called guilt kicked me in the ribs. My arms went from my chest to straight down to my sides. That awkward shuffling, you know? With my hands on my hips I thought over things quickly. "Wait. Are you going through my things?" I sound like a cheater, like one of those guys that get caught on Maury, but which one is more dishonest: writing to an old friend or possibly snooping?_

_"It was open."_

_It was open. That was it? Out of all of the excuses for invading someone's privacy, the best one he could think of was that it was open. "It was open?" That's how ridiculous I found it. It was so ridiculous that I had to repeat it. "What gives you the right to snoop through my things? You're not even my boyfriend. It's none of your business who I talk to. I could have a date tonight and it wouldn't be any of your business. Do you know why? Because you don't have the right to get angry or upset with anything I do." _

_Was it right to actually say that? Probably not, but it was true. Who was he to care so much that he would look through my things? I didn't even give him a reason to suspect that there was anything wrong. Nothing is wrong anyway. But I still felt it was necessary to run my mouth. "I can't believe you're even insinuating that you deserve to have a say in who I talk to."_

_Even when I looked at him in anger, I had to admit that I was still thinking how pretty his eyes were. _

_"You can get a cab, right?"_

_And just like that, I was left standing alone in the park._

_Tonight, I don't have to worry about hiding my journal._


	7. All Things Must Pass

**Author's Note: My muse has been gone for quite some time. Sorry sbout that, but I'm never gone for good. I haven't been too inspired lately by what I see on TV, and I haven't had any time at all to watch wrestling but that won't stop me from writing. I plan to update all of my stories, and hopefully this one will be updated fairly regularly. So, please, don't stop reading and don't forget about your favorite stories. **

_

* * *

_

_"__I missed you when I was away. I really wish you would have gone, but I guess I understand why you didn't. You have your life and I respect that__.."_

_Eyes staring up at the vast blue sky and my ears attempting to cl__ose up as those words were spoken. __I was trying to isolate myself. Who knew it would be so difficult this time when I ha__d done it so easily in the past?__ I was used to wearing my heart on my sleeve but the vulnerability I was surrounded by was astounding, even for me. The pounding Florida sun was tearing me apart. My stomach was boiling as it churned with nervousness and my body was exposed for all to see as my skin began to toast from the sun's contact. _

_"But I don't want to be apart from you ever again. I want you to be with me, Trish."_

_It's been two whole months since he left me. Two whole months I've been empty and lost. __Maybe just lost.__ I feel guilty that it's in the back of my mind all the time. I feel guilty that when he's lying next to me __he knows I'm with someone else. I wonder where he is right now, although it's probably not hard to guess. He's in Austin, Texas, I know for a fact. I was talking to Lillian the other day and she told me. Her voice was soft and sympathetic. She told me she would tell him I was doing okay, but I know she won't be able to. I don't remember the last time he's acknowledged me._

_We spoke about a week after our fight, but it was a two minute conversation. "This might not mean anything now but I know that he meant something to you and I know that you care about him. I can't sit around and wait for you to choose between the two of us." My eyes were tearing up and even though I tried to turn away from him all I could see were his eyes. "You know what you're doing, Trish. I'm not going to let you push me away for someone that's going to hurt you."_

_He was wrong. I haven't been hurt yet, and I'll never let myself get hurt again. __I can't let myself get hurt again. I don't know how much of my heart is left for me to waste._

_"I guess I should get to the point. I mean, there is a point. I promise," he chuckled nervously. "I've decided__I want you to be my wife, Trish. There. I want you to marry me." _

_I could feel my skin burning. Was it the sun, his eyes, or my hope exploding? _

_I said yes._

_I forgot that all bad apples rot eventually._


End file.
